Taylor Swift beat Apple – what other problems can she solve?

What other problems can Taylor Swift help fix? Photo / Getty Images

Bring back Campbell Live

Do your evenings feel just a little sad without John Campbell’s marvelous show? As weird and random as Come Dine With Me is, it’s no replacement for Campbell Live. Swift can fix this. She’s totally up for it. She took on Apple – how hard can it be to sort out whatever it is that’s going on at Mediaworks that turned the nation’s best current affairs show into a pile of sad sawdust?

Read more: John Campbell talks about life after Campbell Live

If Taylor Swift changed Apple's mind, surely she can bring back Campbell Live. Photo / Greg Bowker
                 If Taylor Swift changed Apple’s mind, surely she can bring back Campbell Live. Photo / Greg Bowker

Read more:
• How Taylor Swift made Apple bow down
• Taylor Swift v Apple: Why she won

Repair Dave Grohl’s broken leg

If anyone needs Swiftifying, it’s the Foo Fighters front man. He fell off stage in Sweden and broke his leg, meaning the Foos were forced to pull out of this weekend’s headlining slot at Glastonbury. That’s meant even more controversyover his fellow headliner Kanye West. Can Swift’s magic wand heal broken bones? Because tens of thousands of festival goers would love that to happen.

Read more: Dave Grohl: That s*** was B-R-O-K-E

'Thanks for healing my broken leg Taylor Swift, you're the best' - Dave Grohl.
                                         ‘Thanks for healing my broken leg Taylor Swift, you’re the best’ – Dave Grohl.

Make Ed Sheeran take a break

They’re supposedly so close they spend their evenings exchanging rhyming text messages. So can Swift just have a quiet word in Sheeran’s ear about the fact that the world has reached peak Sheeran? Do it quietly, with a few emojis, but just drop a few subtle hints that it’s time we had a bit of a break from Sheeran and his ubiquitous balladeering ways.

Read more: Have we reached peak Ed Sheeran?

'OK Taylor Swift, I'll take a break' - Ed Sheeran. Photo / Getty Images
                                            ‘OK Taylor Swift, I’ll take a break’ – Ed Sheeran. Photo / Getty Images

Force Dr Dre to release his new album

He hasn’t released an album since 1999’s 2001. But Dr Dre’s new album – rumoured to be called Detox, or Dretox, or, possible, Chinese Dremocracy – has been on, then off, then on again so often everyone has basically given up. This is an easy one for Swift – she’ll surely have Dre on speed dial. Give him a call and we’ll have it faster than a surprise Beyonce record.

'Alright Taylor Swift, I'll release my new album - just for you girl' - Dr Dre.
                                          ‘Alright Taylor Swift, I’ll release my new album – just for you girl’ – Dr Dre.

Erase anything and everything to do with Madonna and Drake

It happened way back in April, but we’re still shuddering from what happened to Drake when he invited Madonna on stage during his headlining performance at Coachella. Heck, the Canadian rap superstar is probably still undergoing tongue surgery after Mads brutally attacked his face. Can Swift blank our memories with one of those Men in Black gadgets, then erase all images and videos of the incident from the internet? Please?

Read more: Drake’s horrified reaction to Madonna’s Coachella kiss

'Taylor Swift, please erase this Madonna memory from my mind, thanks' - Drake. Photo / Getty Images
                ‘Taylor Swift, please erase this Madonna memory from my mind, thanks’ – Drake. Photo / Getty Images

Speed up the Northwestern motorway rebuild

Okay, this is completely and utterly selfish but anyone living out west knows what we’re talking about. Our daily commute has been ruined countless times over the past year – and it’s not about to change, with work on the massive motorway rebuild project scheduled until 2017. There are road works at 6am, road works at lunch time, and road works at midnight. Being stuck in a traffic jam at 11pm after a sweaty game of indoor footie is not fun. Can Swift give them all a big hurry up please?

 

[“source – nzherald.co.nz”]