It’s Shahid Kapoor’s wedding day. But you probably already know that.
More fascinating than the Shahid Kapoor-Mira Rajput wedding, (what’s not fascinating about a Bollywood superstar marrying an unassuming 21-year-old Delhi girl, who he met at a ‘satsang’) are the ridiculous media reports floating in the internet around the wedding.
While Shahid didn’t quite shout out his wedding plans from the rooftop, his wedding created a new breed of journalists we assume – the Shahid Kapoor wedding reporters.
So while some investigated the kind of paan that was supposed to be served at the shaadi, others probed thesangeet playlist.
The result – a bizarre set of information shoved at our faces, daily.
Here are some examples:
What did Shahid Kapoor do on the weekend before his wedding?
This NDTV report headlined ‘What Shahid Kapoor Did The Weekend Before His Wedding’ tickled the inner voyeur in us. Only, it’s the closest a headline has ever come to being a googly. Ideally, that headline should have been followed by this line: “We really have no clue”. But the nice folks out there, decided to treat us to a picture of Shahid Kapoor admiring his own abdomen through his phone camera. Since it would be really weird to suggest Kapoor spent the weekend ogling at his own abs, we suspect it was meant as a consolation prize for his heartbroken fans.
The menu for the wedding will include, wait for it, CHOCOLATE PAAN!
Why, oh why, do you run to weddings of people you only half know? For the chicken kebabs being shoved under your nose every five minutes? Nope. For the palak paneer waddling in cream? Nope. For the heart attack-friendly mutton? Nope. Oh, for all the free booze? Nope. You never knew, but it was the paan that you subconsciously had always crushed on.
And that’s exactly why, The Times of India, offered a detailed account of the bouquet of paans that will be served at the wedding. “Along with the traditional paan that is commonly served at weddings, Sasha’s guests will also be treated to khajoor paan filled with dry fruits and flavoured paan like rose and mango,” says the report. And it doesn’t end there, it goes on to list a mindboggling variety of paans, you didn’t know existed or humans wanted to consume. Have you ever wondered what a Banana Split paan would taste like? Or a Long Island Iced Tea paan? Maybe, a Butter Chicken paan? If you are lucky enough to be Sasha’s wedding you can perhaps ask Super Paan Men make your dream paan come true.
Also, hey, these guys apparently served at Kareena Kapoor’s wedding too. What should we call it? A paanbound?
Guess whose songs will be played at the sangeet? OMG, Shahid Kapoor’s!
No, who would have guessed? Really? A Bollywood actor with a dozen dance songs to his credit will play those songs at his wedding?
Obviously, The Indian Express didn’t. So, they first declared ‘Here’s what will play at Shahid Kapoor, Mira Rajput’s wedding tonight’. And then said, “Though the details are kept under-wraps, reports suggest that the set list will definitely include Shahid Kapoor’s hit songs.” Who would have seen that coming?
The last time we felt this betrayed, was when Jon Snow died.
Yay, Shahid Kapoor had a wedding invite too!
What will your wedding invite look like based on how well you act? Nope, not that’s a Facebook quiz. That’s a question that we felt like asking after reading this ‘exclusive’ article on The Indian Express, an interview with Shahid Kapoor’s wedding card designer.
The report says, “The wedding card is just what you can expect from an actor par excellence Shahid Kapoor – simple yet classy, and elegant yet pompous.”
Umm, we immediately wanted to ask, what kind of curtains and cutlery do you expect ‘from actor par excellence Shahid Kapoor’?
“Mera number aa gaya”
So you are getting married. Who do you first invite? Obviously, the current partner of your ex, no? This article onBollywood Life suggested that ‘Kareena Kapoor’s husband Saif Ali Khan’ may have been the first to receive the wedding invite. No the bride’s family, not Kapoor’s own family, but Saif Ali Khan.
Who knows, Bollywood Life probably has first hand information about Shahid Kapoor being just another bitter 14-year-old at heart who can’t handle break-ups, pimples and math alike.
[“source – firstpost.com”]